(As I have mentioned in my previous post) I am looking for an apartment. Between Draw Something and watching tv, my vacation has been pretty busy. The apartments that I see on my programs have gotten my practical underpants in a bunch.
Friends: Monica and the gang all took turns living at the corner of Bedford and Grove in the West Village. I did some research and discovered that 90 Bedford St has an estimated value of $6,418,100 or a rental estimate of $22,000 and change. The real property has 5 bedroom and 4.5 bathrooms. If you were to break that down, the rent for a 2 bedroom in that building would be outrageous. A 2 bedroom on the same street will run you $8,820 a month. This is 2012 money, and I know nothing about real estate, but I have to imagine that the value of the apartment hasn’t grown disproportionally. Now Monica claims that she is illegally subleasing the place from her Nana. That makes sense if subleasing means blowing her landlord. Even so, I’m not buying it. Monica is a chef that seems to have a lot of free time on her hands… Hanging out at the Central Perk (every episode), going on dates with Tom Selleck (s3 ep2), planning Thanksgiving (s1 ep9) and going to Vegas (s5 ep22). She does seem to be working enough to pay rent. As a Top Chef addict, I consider myself a chef expert (chefspert). I don’t think that Tom Colicchio is sipping venti soy lattes with Rocco DiSpirito at Starbucks in the middle of the day. (I can think of much better things to do with Mr DiSpirito in the middle of the day). Also, I’d like to know how come there is a balcony when we are in the apartment, but not when we have a street view. Just sayin’.
Seinfeld: It’s not Jerry’s place, but Newman’s apt that makes me want to cry. Particularly in the Andrea Doria episode (George is trying to win over an apartment board with the sob story of his life/Kramer finds Smuckers the dog/Elaine gets set up/ Jerry takes over Newman’s route (s8 ep10)). Jerry, Newman and Kramer all live in the same building at 129 West 81st Street. Other apartments in the area with 1 bedroom/1 bathroom are currently going for $6,500 a month. I wonder what it cost in 1989? The average earning of a postman in 2005 was $2,638 a month. If you do that math, I highly doubt that Newman could afford a one bedroom on the upper west side. And what about Kramer? The man with no steady job manages to not get evicted. He claims to have received an inheritance (s4 ep16) but we never learn more beyond that episode. I think George makes the best comment regarding Kramer wanting to go to fantasy camp (s4 ep15), “His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. That’s a fantasy camp.”
I also really like the episode where Elaine pretends to live in a janitors closet so the Chinese restaurant will deliver the supreme flounder to her (s8 ep16). “Oh the humanity!”
30 Rock: What about everybody’s favorite NBC Page? I adore Kenneth. He bends over backwards for the cast and crew of TGS. He just might be the poster child of above and beyond in terms of work ethic (and weirdness). The poor guy lives in a shit hole of an apartment and can’t afford cable. Kenneth worships television and works for a network! How ironic. Maybe Kenneth and I could live together in Lower Allston. It wouldn’t be a stretch from what he is used to. We could watch endless amounts of shitty tv together. And he would let me control the clicker. He would tell me all the TGS gossip. I would be one step closer to my idol. Liz Lemon, here I come!
The Nanny: Val’s Apartment (s3 ep5). This episode is classic Nanny. One reason why I love this episode is because it is one of the first real times that Max realizes just how terrible life is without Fran. He begins to appreciate her the way we have been begging him to for years. Fran, however, does not get off so easy. She realizes how plush life was in the Sheffield home. Through all of this, hilarity reigns. Val gets her to move into this apartment building full of gay men. It is 22 minutes of awesome. I’m sure she could make ends meet with the salary she earns from Max, but I doubt budgeting is one of her strengths.
How I Met Your Mother: I’m relatively new to HIMYM. I fucking hate Ted, but everyone else is really growing on me. Kind of like when you first move into your dorm freshman year… you realize that the person you befriended first is actually the most nauseating person in the state of Ohio (who goes to college in Ohio?) But the apartment episode I’m thinking of is World’s Greatest Couple (s2 ep5). Ted and Robin go to Lily’s new apartment and it is horrendous. Lily is a teacher and lives in Manhattan. There is no possible way that she would be able to afford anything larger than my station wagon. The tub, toilet, stove, sink and bed are all in one, small room. The bed even folds out. Yikes.
Boy Meets World: BMW is pretty stupid. I was a big fan of TGIF and all the lineup had to offer, but it is hard to stay invested when the characters are aging and I hadn’t discovered the wonders smoking pot. In the episode Picket Fences (s7 ep10) we clearly see why designing is left up to the ladies. When Topanga leaves Cory to spruce the place up, she returns to find out that he typically fucked it up even more. The worst offense: yellow paint. Woof, that’s even uglier than the name Topanga.
The Cosby Show: You had to know I was going to end it on this one. Move it (s5 ep4) is hands down, one of the funniest episodes of the Cosby show. Cliff and Clair go to Sondra and Elvin’s apartment for dinner. They are disgusted by the nasty water, jammed windows, and major plumbing/electrical problems. Sondra and Elvin, however, cheerfully announce their plans to make a “room” for the baby by putting up a screen in the corner. The entire episode is so ridiculously accurate. I think every post graduate does that awkward charade when they are trying to convince their parents that their new apartment isn’t a death trap… or the group of men at corner is a do-op group and not a drug ring…Cliff is such a ball buster that he can’t resist giving Elvin a hard time (and Elvin is such a wimp, he is practically begging to be kicked in the balls).
I’m also bothered by Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment on Sex and the City but I don’t feel like typing anymore. My vacation is in full swing and today is Marathon Monday. I enjoy pairing alcohol with other people’s activeness (so today is kind of a big deal).